I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
