addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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