Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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