smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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