Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
