I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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