so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
