I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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