who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
