yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Randomize
