oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
