you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
