Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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