It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize