So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
