yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
