you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
