He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
