No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
