Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
