Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize