Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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