make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
