BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
