He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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