Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
