OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
