Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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