How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
There r osticjed everywhere
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
