I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
