i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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