Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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