Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
