My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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