u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
dude. I can hear the air.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
