I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
