if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
