So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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