Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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