Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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