A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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