I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
