Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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