Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
