Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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