i don't plan on having that self control this summer
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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