Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
