i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
