Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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