Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
