talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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