We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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