i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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