You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
