Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
