Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
