ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
