you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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