the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
