this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
