dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
