Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
