so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
