everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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