We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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