I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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