sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
