How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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