You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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