and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
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